The Impossible Knife of Memory by Laurie Halse Anderson

Novellas/Pre-squeals: No

Series: Stand Alone

Published by: Viking Juvenile

Genre: Contemporary, Real Life, Young Adult

Pages: 391

Source: hardback, bought

Rating: ✬✬✬✬✬

Synopsis: 

For the past five years, Hayley Kincain and her father, Andy, have been on the road, never staying long in one place as he struggles to escape the demons that have tortured him since his return from Iraq. Now they are back in the town where he grew up so Hayley can attend school. Perhaps, for the first time, Hayley can have a normal life, put aside her own painful memories, even have a relationship with Finn, the hot guy who obviously likes her but is hiding secrets of his own.

Will being back home help Andy’s PTSD, or will his terrible memories drag him to the edge of hell, and drugs push him over? The Impossible Knife of Memory is Laurie Halse Anderson at her finest: compelling, surprising, and impossible to put down.

Thoughts: 

I can't even describe my love for this book. Oh my goodness, it was fabulous. I loved how real and raw all of the characters were. The way they acted was so real and beautiful and incredible and amazing. It was so hard watching, well more like reading about, Hayley living with her dad, and it was so hard reading about how he was struggling. Many sentences literally tore my heart out and left me bleeding on my own bedroom floor. 

The thing I love most about Laurie is how she tells stories on big topics. She doesn't glorify them and she doesn't explain how having a disorder or going through life is bad, she just states that it's something real people struggle with. I admire how she's brave enough to talk about these topics in such a beautiful way as well. If I was a really good writer and wanted to become an author, Laurie would definitely be my role model. 

The characters were also fabulous. The love interest is flawed, but he's so perfect in every single way. He's not the typical "tough" guy. He's nerdy, he's skinny, and he's adorable. He has a screwed up family. Hayley's best friend has a screwed up family. I think that's why the book felt so real because every person in a family has secrets that they don't want to share the world. No one's life or family will ever be perfect. I loved Hayley's father's character. I loved seeing how he was around his daughter when he was sober. He was an amazing guy. 

Overall, everyone NEEDS to read this. Seriously. The writing, the characters, the topic, all of it will tear you apart but at the same time, it will spark something in you and change the way you look at people and situations and mental illnesses. Even if this book is outside your comfort zone, I encourage you to give it a try. 

Favorite Quotes: 

“I needed to hear the world but didn't want the world to know I was listening.” 

“Do you know how much women loathe it when guys think every show of negative emotion is tied to our menstrual cycle, like we're sheep or something?

“Can't escape pain, kiddo. Battle through it and you get stronger.” 

“Which was better: being alive (if that was the right word) but not remembering anything, or being dead?"

 "Yes it is, because you can only be brave if you're scared."